I NEED TO KNOW IF MY SON IS ADHD

I HAVE TALKED TO DOCTORS AND THEY TELL ME HE CAN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO HELP HIM UNTIL HE IS IN KINDERGARDEN.  I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS BECAUSE IF YOUR CHILD DOES NOTHING BUT MAKE IT HARD FOR EVERYONE ELSE THEN WHY ISN'T THERE SOME HELP BESIDES THE MEDICINE.  HE IS SO HARD TO BE AROUND SOMETIMES AND I DON'T TAKE HIM INTO A STORE CAUSE HE SCREAMS AND KICKS AND THROWS A TANTRUM.  YOU CAN'T SPANK YOUR CHILD ANYMORE IN PUBLIC SO I'M REALLY MAD BY THE TIME WE GET TO THE CAR.  I'VE BEEN TOLD BY MANY THAT HE NEEDS MEDS BUT HIS DOCTOR CAN'T PRESCRIBE IT YET SO IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TILL THEN BESIDES TIME OUT AND SPANKINGS. 

THANKS FOR  THE SUPPORT

Hello,

I am a parent of a 21 year old who was finally diagnosed with ADD when in the third grade. I am also a teacher of learning disabled students, many with ADD & ADHD as an overlaying factor.  It is difficult to keep your cool with a child with ADHD. One thing I try to keep in mind is that the child/adult truly can not help their behaviors as it is a brain function that causes the actions and reactions that we see.  Also, being that we do not have ADHD, it is difficult to remember that these children cannot help themselves, especially if they are as young as your child.  Spanking your child will not help anything. They just cannot do whatever you are asking of them.  Going to stores can be an adventure, to say the least, as the impulsive side is in full swing! 

I would advise that first you are positive that your son's behaviors are truly a result of having ADHD.  Have you had a psychological test done?  This will give you both an IQ result and a diagnosis.  Contact your local school district for a name of someone whom they think is reputable.  This way, when he enters school, you will have all the paperwork done to get the necessary help and you will not have to wait.  Also, I suggest a parent advocate.  They, if good, should be an excellent resource for help.

I have no idea at what age one can start on some of the medications available.  I know this can be a trying time for all involved, especially your son, as he also does not understand why you are considering him to be "bad".  Medications can be another source of frustration as they can cause many side effects.  Since the age of 8, I have been seeking a med for my son (now 21) that does not have a very negative side effect.

Read, read, read, and be sure of your actions.  Try not to be quick to label your son for school unless you are sure of what help he will and may not get.  Be sure that he has ADHD and no other factors that may be showing themself as attention problems. 

Also, most importantly, be consistent in your reactions and discipline.  Those with ADHD function best when they know the outcomes--set dead lines, go to bed at the same time, eat at the same time, give them a choice of only 2 things and let them decide and then stick to it.  Start simple--"Do you want rice krispies or cheerios?"  etc.  Do this as often as  you can.

I hope this helps.  Keep up the good work and never give up your fight for your child as he will always need your help throughout his life.

I completely understand your frustration, my 8 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD just after starting kindergarten. I was in denial before then because I didn't like the idea of medication. He was finally off of daily medication that he had been on for a medical condition since birth and I hated the idea of him taking more. My nephew also has ADHD and was diagnosed at an earlier age. It usually depends on the doctors you are dealing with. It may help to consult a therapist along with a physcologist. Therapist can help the child learn to adapt to situations without the acting out and can help guide you on how to handle these situations. I would recommend trying to get several oppinions. Do some reasearch on doctors in your area check out the local childrens hospital and see who they have on staff for behavoral diseases. There are also some research studies that you could look into depending on where you live. What ever you do don't give up, you are not the only one frustrated your child is two. I would recommend a few things that I have found help with my son (keep in mind they don't work for everyone). Keep him to a schedule, make sure he is aware of what is going on, tell him the plan for the day, the hour, stick to healthy foods low in sugars, caffine and dyes (yellow and red food coloring/dye seem to triger unfriendly behavior) always have somthing on hand to keep his hands and mind busy (match box cars are great, so are any small toy like you get in a kids meal or animal crackers or cherrios, stay away from balls or anything he would want to throw, the leapster handhelds are great in the car or he can sit in the shopping car with it). I now that this is difficult but remember that he isn't doing it on purpose, he can not help himself, there are a lot of behavioral disorders and diseases that don't allow the individual to maintain control of their actions all the time. Rewards systems are great as well and the don't have to include getting things, trips to the park, playing a specific game or watching a special show or movie or maybe helping you to make diner. Good luck to you and or child I hope you are able to get him help.