Loss of Partner

I am soooo overcome with grief.  My partner died from larynex cancer on the 24th of November, and all I can do is cry.  I took care of him.  Will I ever get through this?  He was just diagnosed in April of this year.

dewihear, I've come to believe that there is no more rhyme or reason when it comes to getting through the grieving process than there was when we fell in love with our partners.  I lost mine three years ago after he battled COPD for many years; often he seemed normal to someone who never had to watch this once strong man struggle for one more breath.  Yet, like you, I still feel his absence as if he had died yesterday.  But, also like you, I took care of him--and in that, we were fortunate.  It was one last gift we were able to give these men we loved so much.  What I hope for you is this, my friend:  that you can find someone to share your memories with, to share your feelings with, hopefully a member of the family but if not, a friend in common or someone who has gone through something similar and understands how you feel.  Often it's hard for others to recognize that you NEED to talk and they think they are doing you a favor by taking your mind off the situation.  My beloved died in December, so I understand how the season most people find joyous is not so much so for us.  We need our friends and family to recognize what we may need at this time of year, as well.  You will learn to deal with it, dewihear, and within the bounds of what you believe.  I wish I could be of more help, but the best I can do other than give you my greatest sympathy is to tell you to cherish every moment you two spent together as the gift that it was, and know that as long as he is in your heart, he isn't gone.