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Caregivers Cafe
Are you currently caring for a family member or spouse? Drop by the cafe to share your insights with Jackie, Jeff, and friends.
Each November, our Cafe friends gather to toast the unsung steadfast family caregivers who ease the hearts and minds and spirits of loved ones by being there for them wherever, whenever, and however they need you:
Pam: "Here's to YOU for always sho
With the warm smell of caramel lattes filling the Cafe, some friends were absorbed in a lively discussion with our favorite psychologist, Dr. Ed Rudow, about how to maintain good health as one ages.
Don: "I can't believe that my 84 year old mother st
With the start of another Fall Season, I thought of all the peaceful, beautiful images this time of year should evoke for all of us. Yet, all around us on the internet and TV, we are bombarded with images of fighting and violence. Surely those imag
Each year, the Cafe has the privilege of sharing those caregiving programs that have been awarded the MetLife Foundation/National Alliance for Caregiving's prestigious National Family Caregiving Awards. This year, our wonderful friend and manager of
Word quickly spread among our Cafe friends that two incredible experts in dementia care, Dr. Katherine Goethe and Dr. Martha Leatherman, would be stopping by the Cafe today to share their insights, wit and wisdom with those of us who have a loved on
Pat, a wonderful friend and professional care manager, dropped by the Cafe for a few minutes today to spread the word about a new resource for families trying to understand long-term care and the important questions to ask as they look into it:
"The
Yesterday a few Cafe friends woke up bright and early and headed for a quiet walk on the beach seeking solitude and rejuvenation.
As our footsteps marked our progress in the soft sand, I heard Jane, a longtime caregiver for her Mom with dementia, w
As our Cafe friends streamed in for their morning wake-me-up, they were greeted by a little stuffed bunny sitting on the counter, with his floppy ears dancing as he sang an upbeat tune "I've Got to Hop".
Knowingly, I watched our friends' reactions s
Sundays at the Cafe are always special. It's the day that our friends drop by with their children, on their way to the beach or a baseball game. It's the day that giggles and smiles abound as older siblings help younger ones choose their favorite c
Long after most of our friends had gone home, a group of us sat sipping lattes talking about how much attention we have given to our loved ones this past winter and spring; and how little attention we had given to ourselves.
As I gazed at my Cafe frien
Several weeks ago, some Cafe friends attended a forum and expo for parents of special needs children and adults. Listening to the parent presenters, we realized we were in the company of a unique breed of caregivers - those who had woven their pers
Another rainy day outside the Cafe. Inside, some soggy, down-spirited friends were sipping caramel lattes and sharing possible gift ideas to give loved ones this coming Mother's Day or for their next birthday.
As each friend offered a suggesti
Early this morning, a few Cafe friends were sharing some heavy-duty sighs along with their mocha lattes: "It's just becoming too much to bear", whispered Judy. "I never stop worrying about her (her mother) even when I'm at my office." As I gazed a
Last night a very special friend, Eddie Kessler, writer, producer, television & radio personality, and Hollywood-in-its-Heydey film expert, created a totally magical evening for some of our favorite Cafe seniors:
With his huge movie screen, reel
Several weeks ago, I attended a two-year old's birthday party, one of life's happiest events. In a corner of the playroom, away from the 10 precious little ones scrambling around with toys of all sizes, sat one little boy all by himself as his momm
Late last night, after all the celebrating for St. Patrick's Day was over, a group of Cafe friends sat quietly enjoying the companionship of one another...a companionship forged by sharing thoughts and feelings, hopes and fears on our common, yet un
March is finally here; and with it comes thoughts of sunnier, more active days, and more driving during fun-filled family weekends.
While we would never ever put our little ones in cars without the proper comfort and safety equipment, our good frie
Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a special crystal ball that we could gaze into and actually see what our loved ones are feeling in the dynamic, often difficult, dance we call caregiving.
And wouldn't it be comforting to gaze into our crystal ball an
At some point in time, your loved one will be hospitalized, either as an emergency or a scheduled visit. Hospitalization automatically elevates the stress level of care recipients and caregivers; but when your loved one has memory loss, dementia, o
Yesterday, a few Cafe friends sat down with Dr. Ed Rudow, a psychologist who is also a compassionate caregiver. Tammy was describing how worried she is about being able to continue paying for her mom's home health aide:
"My Mom has Parkinson
Today, with the swearing in of Barack Obama as our 44th President, our nation and the world has the opportunity to begin a brand new day:
To reaffirm our highest values and principles as a country
When times are hard like this, it makes sense to do all we can to reduce the cost of our family's medications. BUT WHAT WE DO MUST BE SAFE & SENSIBLE so that we don't increase our family's health risks!
The following are some SMART DOs
Dear Cafe Friends:
A toast to all of you, wishing that 2009 brings you and yours a year filled with Hope, Health, and Happiness...and new Opportunities to make all of those things come true.
We are looking forward to longtime and new friends
Rene Cantwell, our dear caregiver friend and publisher of FOLO magazine for caregivers stopped by to offer us some Holiday Food for Thought:
"Caregivers are very special people. We are problem solvers, creative thinkers, and most of all--we want
Now that Turkey Day is done, 'tis the season to think about helping Santa get terrific holiday gifts for elders that we care about.
Some friends gathered at the Cafe this weekend to sip steaming hot peppermint lattes and share some of their most
As we think about celebrating Thanksgiving this year, may we make it a day of caring and sharing.
May we remember the words of Anne Campbell as we think of those less fortunate or alone: "There is always a place for you at my table. You nev
IF NOT NOW, THEN WHEN ...
Last week our country elected our soon-to-be 44th President Barack Obama. Last week President-Elect Obama called upon all Americans to share our vision and ideas for what America can be; what changes should be made; and
"Turning the clocks back always makes me sad", said Carrie. "Me too", sighed Sandy. "Me three", whispered Pam.
Jeff: Well I have the perfect NOVEMBER PICK-ME-UP, shared by a silver-haired gentleman who attended my caregiver's workshop. Aft
Our dear friend Suzanne Mintz of the National Family Caregivers Association just sent all our Cafe friends an invitation to:
A FREE national telephone class and webinar in honor of National Family Caregivers Month, celebrated each year in November.
Yesterday people across the country joined in 600 Alzheimer Memory Walks to share their forever love of those taken by this devastating disease; and to proclaim their common belief that together we can, we must, we will find solutions to overcome it
Early this morning, a dear and wise friend dropped by the Cafe to wish us a happy fall season. Robert reminded us that each new season brings new opportunities; new choices; and new decisions; not just for those we care about and care for; but for ou
Our super-sensible friend Barb dropped by last night and heard lots of moaning and groaning about our aches and pains and depression and stress and anxiety - all related to our overwhelming juggling and To-Do lists as family caregivers.
Barb cal
The Cafe looked like a super-charged, really LOUD and LIVELY political rally last night as we got into a spirited discussion about what makes for better caregiving. Three staunch sets of supporters emerged, each with a VERY VOCAL LEADER championing
A few of us were at the Cafe last night feeling down because Chris' Mom who has heart failure has been in the emergency room 3 times in 2 months. Dr. Rudow, our favorite psychologist, walked in as Chris was saying:
If only I had a crystal ball to
Jeff and Lon were talking about the awesome U.S. Track and Field Relay Teams in the Olympics when
Penny said:
I think people should create relay teams to care for their loved one. You pass the baton so it is not always your turn to do everythin
Our dear friend Ellen stopped by to share her new furry lovable surprise with all of us this morning. Allowing Brownie's magic to take hold of our hearts required that we focus on the preciousness of the moment, as the poet Ella Wheeler Wilcox suggest
It is GREAT to be back at the Café!! Some friends rushed in to ask what happened; so I shared the Saga of the Falling Dominoes:
A dear friend reeealllly needed my help. Her father, who has late stage Alzheimers and lives in a small group
A few dear friends stopped by the Café on their way to a workshop they were giving for new family caregivers. Each has spent years caring for a loved one; each has learned so much.
Jeff and I asked them to share something they learned al
On February 17, 2009, television stations will broadcast only in digital format. If your loved one has a television set that uses a rooftop antenna or "rabbit ears", they will need to:
Add a certified converter box to their TV;
C
A few of us were looking lumpy and sounding grumpy when our favorite exercise pal Loretta walked into the Café.
She took one look at us and asked:
Do You Even Know What Your EA Scores are?
A few of us us were looking lumpy and sounding grumpy when our favorite exercise pal Loretta walked into the Café.
She took one look at us and asked:
Do You Even Know What Your EA Scores are?
Dear Friends:
Whether you are seeking benefit and assistance programs for:
Veterans
People with Disabiities
Dependents
Seniors
Caregivers
Dis
Somewhere in the midst of your July 4th Happenings, perhaps after the picnic or barbecue with family and friends and before the oohs and aahs of the awesome firework displays...
TIME AND TENDERNESS
May each of you take a minute to reflect on al
Last night, some of our friends whose parents live in their own homes and apartments were discussing what they could do to keep their parents inspired and engaged and mentally stimulated:
Laura: "I really worry that my Mom isn't getting enough mental stim
Jeff and I were chatting with a few close friends at the Cafe last night when talk turned to their parents, all of whom live in assisted living and retirement care communities.
Jessica expressed concern that her Mom wasn't participating in activities beca
?Broaching the subject of "giving up your car keys" with your loved ones is one of those truly unwished-for conversations; but it is also one of the most important conversations you may ever have with them!
A QH Caregiving Support Group member
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How much kinder would our interactions with others be if we all heeded the wisdom of this unknown poet:
"If you were busy being glad and cheering people who seem sad; Although your heart might ache a bit, you'd soon forget to notice
TWO-MINUTE SYMPTOM CHECK
Wayne went on to explain:"MEDICARE IS DRAMATICALLY REDUCING CONSUMERS' CHOICE OF & ACCESS TO LOCALLY-BASED MEDICAL EQUIPMENT SUPPLIERS. THIS MAY ULTIMATELY CREATE HAVOC FOR SENIORS & CAREGIVERS TO GET THEIR EQUIPMENT AND SUPPLI
SOMETHING MORE PRECIOUS
My Life - My WayGeneration Y, who in numbers almost rival the Boomers, are looking at the Boomers and Xers and saying, 'My career will not be what defines me. I want to work, but as a means to live, not the other way around.'Generation
KUDOS TO PHARMA COMPANIESAmerica’s pharmaceutical research companies, which sponsor this wonderful initiative that has helped nearly 5 million patients across our country, deserve a great big HEARTFELT THANK YOU!! " Now that
Tribute to CaregiversFor each caregiver had chosen to live as “a friend to man” and there is no greater tribute we can offer them than the words of poet Sam Walter Foss:
ON-LINE CONNECTIONSFor our Café friends who prefer the wonders of on-line surfing , whether you want to:Explore resources and guides at their terrific on-line Library; or Catch their latest videos at www.youtube.com/nationalmssociety; or Beco
WHO'D HAVE THOUGHTThey really did create a free, on-line or downloadable user-friendly guide, aptly titled “Questions and Answers About Health Insurance”, which answers many common questions that families have about health insurance
A CARING AGENDA for FAMILIES Hillary's long-term care agenda includes the following:*A new $3000 T
NOW WHAT ???
HEART HEALTHY CHECKLIST: H = HAPPY MOMENTS to get you through the unhappy times; E = ENERGIZE YOUR SPIRIT YOUR WAY;
But when you’re acting as a caregiver to a loved one, you MOST DEFINITELY CAN USE MORE THAN ONE!! So LotsaHelpingHands set up a free personalized, protected web service for you & your family & friends to coordinate caring for your loved one
Our dear friend and colleague, Ray Bullman, from the National Council on Patient Information and Education, dropped by the Cafe while we were discussing the tragic death of Heath Ledger. Ray handed each of us a terrific checklist for Medicine Safety. At
But it can burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. And we should all be so thankful to them, for they rekindle our human spirit.” HEARTLIGHT VISIONSSo she closes her eyes and allows the
EASIEST TO EASIEST ROUTEConsider taking the “easiest to easiest” route suggested by Michele Cassou in her book Point Zero Creativity. She meant it as a way for artists to breakthrough creative blocks; I use it for almost anything that’s
Top 5 Hospital Risks The top 5 hospital risks include:
Covered Services & Costs
Reliable National Assistance...Toll Free Eldercare Locator -- Your First Call to find resources for older adults in any U.S. community. 1-800-6777-1116 Monday-Friday: 9 am to 5 pm English & Spanish-s
Honor All TraditionsThis year as I paused to celebrate Chanukah (The Jewish Festival of Lights) I decided to make it a point to learn a little more and grow a little more in honoring all faiths and traditions ....
A Cup of Good CheerBlessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love! ~Hamilton Wright MabieChristmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts. ~Janice Maeditere The joy of brightening other
Be Well-InformedBe able to describe patient’s medical history and have documents to show intake person: a.
Worst Nursing Homes ListPlease review this SFF list so that you may be well-informed as you consider future long term care options for your loved ones or if your loved one is a current nursing home resident. You can always ask a specific nursing hom
Signals of Medical ProblemsA loving visit to his dad who lives at a facility with other Alzheimer’s residents quickly morphed into an emergency-room visit because my husband and I always look at his dad’s behaviors and body language for signs
A Special MessageSo many people hold a special place for you and your loved ones in their hearts and lives. What better time to tell them than on this Thanksgiving holiday ....
Which is Which?It’s very simple to tell which is which. After a conversation with our nutritious people we feel better about ourselves, more positive, and ready to take on the world. After a conversation with the drainers we feel weaker, more pessim
Know What to Look ForThe National Center on Elder Abuse shares these sad facts in the hopes of heightening our awareness and outrage over the hidden tragedies occurring behind closed doors among families with elder relatives throughout our country.
Caregivers' Self-Help TipsBelieve in YourselfProtect Your HealthReach Out for HelpSpeak Up for Your RightsFor helpful information & resources, videos and tools, stop by QualityHealth.com and explore the many ways to keep you and your entire
Capture the MomentsMake it a point to capture the precious moments leading up to and through the children’s Happy Haunting Holiday …. And send them across the miles to digitally fulfill your loved ones’
Defeated by the Medical SystemI had participated in parent support for families of babies in Neonatal Intensive Care and had been a volunteer emergency medical responder for six years. In short, I had heard far too many stories of fam
You Are Free To. . . Liberate yourself from yesterdays that are gone.Delight in today, the moment, now.Believe in your inner voice to reveal what is right for you.Act only on the choices that make sense to you.Change your direction.
Pre-Grief Counseling allows you to talk about your fears and concerns before the emotional crisis. Our feelings and thoughts are often overwhelming in the midst of a family crisis. Addressing them early on prepares us mentally and emotionally to go f
Whether you are a car ride to a nearby town or need to board an airplane, Long Distance Caregiving requires planning, guidance and resources. Fortunately there is help. That’s what FOLO’s new column, Long Distance Caregiving, is about. .
Is It Just Aging?Many people experience some memory problems as they age. And there are many different conditions that can affect memory, such as thyroid problems; infections; severe dehydration; head injury; and serious depression, to name a few. O
Slowly but surely, Lulu’s mobility began to improve. Then, one night while the Eisens slept soundly, a raging fire broke out in their laundry room. Special-abled Lhasa ApsoWhen Lulu smelled the smoke, she started barking frantically and
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running? Tech Support: What programs are running? Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right no
Explore the list of commonly prescribed medications to see which Assistance Program meets your loved one's specific medication needs.You are always invited to visit FOLO, the magazine for Families of Loved Ones, online. Each issue offers v
Her emotional agony lasted about two to three minutes. Later, when mercifully her inability to store short-term memories rescued her, she began looking for her mother once again. Reality is Relative Reality is relative for all of us. But wh
Does It Make Sense?One example out of hundreds: OUR SCHOOL SYSTEMS. Why is it that the smarter our children are, the less time they now spend in kindergarten?They leave the maternity ward, go to daycare all day, and then spend one quarter of t
According to psychology professor Steven Asher at Duke University, lonely people tend to have a very different sense of social interactions. They typically find such interactions stressful and filled with anxiety.Thank goodness that many caregivers and fa
and rituals that do feel sacred, and many of us seek these out, myself included. But I think it’s important to notice that the ritual isn’t sacred; it just opens the door to the experience.It isn’t only the place that is sacred. We
Lots of subtle groans; some not-so-subtle moans; plenty of glazed eyeballs staring back at me; and more than a few raised eyebrows frantically searching the group for anybody, anybody at all, to speak up and fill the silence.... Simple 2-Step Ap
Let us take care of the children, for they have a long way to go.Let us take care of the elders, for they have come a long way... Let us take care of those in between, for they are doing the work.Have a
QualityHealth’s Drugs by the Letter Directory: "You simply click on the first letter of the medicine(s) you need to know more about, and you can read all about their possible side effects; what other medications to avoid using; what happe
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down... 3. Keep learnin
Because we are all so plugged in to our treos or blackberries or laptops, we often take these happy exchanges for granted. But many of our loved ones, grandparents or great-grandparents or family friends, are not from the plugged-in generations.
In case you think this is a fluke, I must tell you that the incorrect taking of medicines, as well as the “I stopped taking it because I don’t need it” syndrome, are two of the greatest causes of medical emergencies and hospitalizat
And, as I sat staring into space, wishing I could be anywhere but where I am, I heard the kind words of Dr. Rudow, reminding me to call upon some “gentle imaginings” ...to take me far, far away.So I close my eyes, relax, and let my spirit
If you are 20, 80 probably seems fairly old in years – at least your grandparents’ age; perhaps even your great-grandparents. But at 20, you have grown up with an entirely different view of aging than those of us who are now 60. When your
Chatting at the Caregiver’s Café has given my mind a workout. We all share similar experiences, just with different parents at different times.I think one of the issues is the stigma attached to the words Retirement and Assisted Care:
You can search by county, city, zip code, or name of supplier....Hope it helps, Jeff
“Whatever anyone else says or does, I must be true to myself, just as if gold or emerald or the color purple would say, ‘Whatever anyone may do or say, I must be an emerald and keep my color.’” And so began a round-robi
If you or a loved one experience symptoms of COPD or asthma, ASK YOUR DOCTOR and follow a management plan outlined by your health care provider. You can also reduce exposure to environmental hazards by following simple preventative steps outlin
When the spirit is in the lead, the body follows it, with beneficial results.” Adeline Yeh Mah believes "the act of discovery lies not in seeking new views but in finding new eyes.”Surely we can find our all-seeing eyes and come to
Therefore be at peace with God,whatever you conceive Him to be,and whatever your labors and aspirations,in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.Desiderata Max Ehrmann
So I became an active volunteer in my local political club, serving as a member on several Community Advisory Boards, a Volunteer Advocate and Public Speaker for the NJ State AARP and, most recently, for the National Alliance for Holistic Aging.As a resul
ADEAR (Alzheimer’s Disease Education and Referral Center of the National Institute on Aging) has created a helpful Caregiver’s Guide for families taking care of a loved one at home. It covers everything from dealing with the initial diag
“Take my hand; it will not weaken me.Feel my warmth; it is there to be reached.Drink from my cup; there is always more.Absorb my caring; I feel part of your loss.Be strong in my strength; there’s more than enoughMay you always choose to share
I brought it for you to see for yourself. Just click on this image. For more information or to order them, please visit AHA. Your loved ones will be glad you did!!
Everyone has a song that needs to be sung – no matter how far their life has come.'So go; go and share your song;Add the unique notes and melody and messages that only your wisdom and life experience can bring.Then go; go and share your son
We always encourage families to find out all they can about each residence and to be realistic about whether or not the assisted living residence can truly meet their loved one’s specific needs. The following ten steps can help your family
Then take another minute to remind yourself that:“Life is a series of experiences; living is taking time to enjoy the good ones and letting the bad ones run their course -- DO NOT push the river."
Benefits CheckUp from NCOA – Find and enroll in federal, state, local and private programs that help pay for prescription drugs, utility bills, meals, health care, and other needs. Eldercare Locator – A public service of the U.S. Administ
“Barb, you have guilt written all over your face. You feel you don’t stay with Mom long enough at each visit.” Boy, did she know me. So, now that I have paid money to get so smart, I will share with you what you should know.
“Barb, you have guilt written all over your face. You feel you don’t stay with Mom long enough at each visit.” Boy, did she know me. So, now that I have paid money to get so smart, I will share with you what you should know. D
Jeff: René, we’re so glad you’re here. Jackie and I still remember picking up your FOLO Magazine before we ever met you and reading your description of how it all began. Will you share that with our friends here tod
"Those are a success who have lived well, laughed often and loved much;Who have gained the respect of intelligent people and the love of children;Who have filled their niche and accomplished their task;Who leave the world better than they found it, W
“There are hermit souls that live withdrawn, in the peace of their self-content;There are souls, like stars, that dwell apart, in a fellowless firmament;There are pioneer souls that blaze their paths Where highways never ran;But let me live by the s
Clearly, family members see things differently; but at a time when the last thing you need is more stress, it is so important to discuss things calmly and intelligently. This is a time when you need love and support in your life, not bitterness.
WHAT'S A POOR BOY TO DOFor those of us faced with caregiving issues it often begins with how to, or even where and when to, start the initial family dialogue? For others it’s who takes on the primary role of caregiver and whether we can count on
From the sheer joy and exuberance of young motherhood, through the juggling of career and parenting, to the complete devastation of losing our young son, to the despair of caring for and losing a mother to Alzheimer's disease, all have been part of th
I have been a teacher and creator of beautiful learning environments my whole life: first teaching precious preschoolers; then equally precious neurologically impaired children; and finally creating life enrichment programs for seniors and elders. I
Sed blandit blandit diam. Suspendisse nunc. Ut sit amet ligula ut orci euismod vestibulum. Etiam iaculis euismod dui. Quisque vitae urna. Integer odio. Aliquam eu diam lacinia enim rutrum adipiscing. Proin semper neque gravida mauris. Ut interdum, elit
M E M B E R P R O F I L E
Jackie Pinkowitz, M.Ed
Let your spirit lead you to the people and places that put a smile on your face and joy in your heart.
I am an educator, caregiver, speaker, writer, and advocate for consumer choice, quality of life, and quality of care for all home and residential care settings. I love being the founder of QH's Caregivers Cafe blog. Please drop by often!
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