Married to a good man...

My name is G and I've been married to my third husband and he is the only man that has ever really provided for me and my kids and he provides our needs, wants and so on. My kids are grown and he still helps them both on a monthly basis due to my daughter being a single mom and my son has only been working for the last 6 months and before that he could'nt get a job for 2 years due to our current job market. My Daughter calls him dad and they are extremly close. and my son acts like him and as he grows up he gets closer to him as well. And our current White house staff is to blame for the current job market. But anyway we've been together 12 years married for 11 and 6 months after we married I was diagnosed with Bi- Polar with phycosis and became very sick with that disease for several years before they got me stable on meds. Well thanks to the first 2 husbands who cheated on me any little possible sign that my current husband was cheating I'd go manic and search thru his things accuse him and he's always denied it but`being a sexual abuse survivor and choising 2 husbands who could'nt keep it in their pants trust is a major trust issue. Well while he's a good man and all we have no sex life at all and my thinking is 1. He's impotent or 2. He's cheating. either way if he is impotent he's too proud to talk to me about it and would never seek medical advice. I've not ever caught him ever doing anything shady that would prove cheating. And his only bad habit is when i'm manic he calls me crazy. And I don't know anyone that has a metal illness that would not be very insulted by it.. I wrote him an e-mail yesterday and told hm if he called me crazy again he would not like my reaction at all so when he got home he went off. I had never been scared of him till last night! He said why don't you just divorce me and I told him I had checked into it and decided I really didn't get married to get divorced plus it's not fiancially a good move for either of us and the attorney wanted a small fortune. I told him last night that providing is not the only marital obigation he has. And after that we had a little talk but no promises wre made. Please help I really don't know how to work thru this and divorce is not acceptable with the morals I've set for my self since my second marriage. Please share your experience, strength and hope.....Thanks...

G