10 Tell-Tale Signs He's Still into His Ex
You may be happily involved with your significant other, and either married or contemplating it. You know your partner was in a serious relationship before you two met, and you thought it was over. Now you're wondering if it's not, and whether he still has feelings for his ex.
How can you know for sure? Here's what to look out for, according to Deborah Brown-Volkman, PPC, life coach, Toni Coleman, LSCW, CMC, a dating and relationship coach, and Stacey Nelkin, relationship expert, actress, and founder of The Daily Affair.
1. Upon answering the phone, he leaves the room right away so you can't hear his conversation. If you ask, he says it was about the kids they have together, or something to do with the house they'd shared.
2. He often tells his ex he can't talk when she calls, but then disappears for an hour or more without saying where he's going.
3. He won't let you look at the phone bill so you can't track his calls. "I know one woman who wanted to add her cell phone to the account," Brown-Volkman says. "He would not give her the user name and password so she could go online and sign up."
4. He's constantly checking his email, but if you sit down next to him, he shuts off the computer.
5. He's always texting, but won't let you see his phone. If you ask who he's texting, you're told it's his ex, but that she needed help with some household problem.
6. He is suddenly talking a lot more often to the ex. "They may have been broken up for awhile, and all of a sudden the person seems to be interested in his ex," Coleman says. "Your partner may have started thinking that maybe he should not have let his ex go. I have seen that very often."
7. He denies it when you ask if he's still having feelings for the ex. "If you know they're spending a lot of time together, this is a sign that something may be going on," Coleman says.
8. If your partner is changing his look so that he looks more like he did when with the ex, that can be a red flag, too. "Growing a beard, shaving a beard, getting into shape and acquiring a new wardrobe all are worth paying attention to, says Nelkin.
9. If your partner is initiating new things in bed by wanting to try something completely new, take note, Nelkin says. Or if they don't want sex anymore, that can be a red flag, too.
10. Your gut feeling is worth a lot. "The biggest piece of evidence can be your own instinct," Nelkin says. "If you get the feeling in your gut that something is up with the ex, you are probably right."
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