The Pros and Cons of Dating Older Women

According to Fayr Barkley, Ph.D. human behavior research expert and founder of cougar international (a cougar/cub dating site) younger men are driving the dynamic behind the younger man/older woman dating trend.

"I see a ratio of more than 10 men to every woman who join my website, www.cougarinternational.com, which tells me there are far more younger men looking or older women than cougars looking for cubs," she claims.

The "cub" men (regardless of their age) reportedly like older women for their confidence and life experience. "One man, age 81, told me he recently married an older woman. Through the years, his attraction to them has never waned."

Here's to You, Mrs. Robinson
Today's women over 40 look better than ever. They are more fit, educated, and financially stable than in previous generations, so it's no wonder so many younger men are smitten. Whether you're interested in companionship or something deeper, here are other benefits of dating the cougar woman:

  • They're available. A 2003 survey conducted by the American Association of Retired Persons found that one-third of unmarried females in their 40s through 60s are dating men younger than themselves—a whopping 34 percent! The poll, which surveyed 3,500 single people (both women and men) aged 40 to 69 years old, found that 56 percent are currently separated or divorced from a spouse and 31 percent have never been married.
  • Cougars live longer. Everyone knows today's 50 is 40 (in terms of appearance, health, and attitude). According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, a baby girl born in the United States in 2005 can expect to live 80.4 years. That's 5.2 years longer than a male baby, whose life expectancy is 75.2 years.
  • They're emotionally secure. Read: less needy! Mature women have weathered their share of storms and gleaned the wisdom to carry them through future turmoil.
  • They have sexual confidence and know what works for them in the bedroom—an inspiring scenario for men at any age.
  • They're not stuck in the past. If you find women your age boring, it may be they are preoccupied with 1985. Hey, you hated the music back then and you still hate it. An older woman brings a different perspective gained from the experiences unique to her generation. She may have better taste in music, too.
  • Older women give you bragging rights. Many men say having a sexy, older woman on their arm looks cool!

Age Matters
Without a doubt, older women bring depth and maturity to many relationships but there are valid reasons to steer clear of courting a cougar.

Leading the list? Procreation, of course. For most women, fertility peaks in their 20s and gradually decreases. At around age 35, the pace of decline picks up rapidly. So, if you're interested in having a family the old-fashioned way, keep her age in mind.

  • Menopause may be an issue. Women typically go through menopause between the ages of 45 and 55. For some it can be a difficult transition emotionally and physically. Extreme fluctuations in hormone levels can bring on depression, anxiety and mood swings. Sex may be less appealing for them too since vaginal dryness can be another symptom.
  • Family obligations. If your older lady has kids, be prepared to play second fiddle or be miserable. Kids generally come first, period.
  • Cash strapped. Speaking of kids... if your cougar has been concentrating on raising a family she may not have held a job and isn't likely to have much money in the bank.

Older. Younger. Same age. Regardless of your magic number, there's one thing you can count on... dating is always an adventure!

Sources:
Library of Congress life expectancy stats
http://aging.senate.gov/crs/aging1.pdf

The American Association of Retired Persons
http://www.aarp.org/relationships/love-sex/info-07-2009/cougars-and-their-cubs.2.html

Fayr Barkley, Ph.D.
http://www.CougarInternational.com