If your sex life is suffering because of your inability to reach orgasm, chances are you're trying to figure out why and what you can do about it. Experts say, there are physical, as well as psychological causes to your sexual dilemma.
"There are psychological, physical, and biological reasons for the inability to orgasm," says Renee Horowitz, MD, FACOG, director of the Center for Sexual Wellness in Farmington Hills, New York. "Sometimes it can be a combination of all three. It's all very interconnected."
5 Causes
You may be having trouble reaching orgasm due to:
1. Getting older. It's generally a lot easier for a 20-year-old to climax than someone in their 50s because of the shifting levels of hormones. "As we get older, we have less estrogen, and estrogen affects the clitoris," Horowitz says.
2. Other health-related problems. If you have atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries), or vascular disease, you can have a reduced blood supply to all areas of the body, including the vaginal area, Horowitz says.
3. Some forms of exercise. Spinning and biking are not common causes for an inability to orgasm, but they can have an effect in some individuals, Horowitz says. "If you are putting a lot of pressure on the nerve that enervates the clitoris and vagina, which is what happens with spinning and biking, that can be a problem when trying to have an orgasm," she says.
4. Medications. Certain antidepressants are notorious for wreaking havoc with an individual's sex life.
5. The inability to relax and let go. "If you're a person who likes to be in control and doesn't want to let go, it can be difficult to have an orgasm," says Sara Nasserzadeh, MSc, PhD, author of The Orgasm Answer Guide. "For an orgasm to happen, you have to be ready to share vulnerability with your partner, she says.
6 Fixes
If you're not able to have an orgasm, don't simply assume that you'll never be able to. There are a variety of ways to put the zest back into your sex life. Here's how:
1. If you're on a medication that could be causing problems, talk to your doctor about making a switch to a different medication.
2. Masturbate. It may sound like strange advice, but practicing self-stimulation can actually help. "Being able to self stimulate is very important," Horowitz says. It can also be helpful to read erotic books, Horowitz says.
3. If vaginal dryness is a problem, ask your doctor about a vaginal estrogen cream. "The topical hormone creams can be really helpful," Horowitz says.
4. Be health-conscious. "If you can correct the health problem, that can help," says Nasserzadeh. If an underlying disorder such as diabetes or atherosclerosis may be causing the problem, you may need to revise your diet and step up your exercise routine.
5. Don't drink alcoholic beverages just prior to sex. "Even though one or two drinks may loosen you up, they also can interfere with the ability to orgasm," Nasserzadeh says.
6. Finally, try to relax, she advises. "When you try to focus on orgasm too much, you'll never get there," she explains.
