Multiple Orgasms: Myth or Reality?

Ever wonder whether it's possible to experience multiple orgasms? For women, it is indeed possible, although after the first big one, they may seem like "momentary spasms, not one big explosion," says Alexandra Katehakis, MFT, CSAT-S, CST-S, clinical director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles.

It's more difficult for men, however, says Sara Nasserzadeh, MSc, Ph.D., author of The Orgasm Answer Guide. Women, unlike men, have the capacity to stay aroused for a longer period after an orgasm.     

But for anyone, the ability to experience more than one consecutive orgasm depends on many things and as has much to do with the mind as with the body.

"You have to be really centered and you must have a freedom about your sexuality," Katehakis explains. "People who haven't been shamed by their sexuality tend to find it easier to have multiple orgasms."

If you are anxious and generally not the type of person who easily gives up control, chances are it will be more difficult for you to have multiple orgasms than for someone who grew up without a lot of cultural or religious taboos about sex, she says.

"When you are able to give in to pleasure and communicate what makes you feel good to your partner, it's easier to have multiple orgasms," Katehakis says.

Also, some women are simply "more orgasmic" than others, she says. "Some women just naturally have more sensitivity in the vaginal area," she explains.

Just because you haven't experienced sex without multiple orgasms doesn't mean it's not possible. Consider these points if you want to increase your chances:

1. Guys can learn to delay gratification (control ejaculation) Katehakis says. "When you are better able to delay or prolong orgasm, this helps," she says. And men can be trained through breathing and by being in sync with a partner to delay an orgasm, Nasserzadeh says. This intensifies the end result, she explains.

2. Communicate to your partner what makes you feel good. "A lot of people think their partner should be responsible for them having orgasms, but each person has to figure it out with their own body," Katehakis says. "They can't make it a guessing game for their partner."

3. Get to know your own body and what feels good. "When people are familiar with their own bodies, they are more likely to know what to tell their partner," Katehakis says.

4. Lose track of time, recommends Charla Hathaway, intimacy coach and author of Take Your Sex Life from OK to OMG. "Don't feel that multiple orgasms have to be on a schedule," she says. "And learn to have a great dose of self-love and appreciation for your own rhythm."

5. If the multiple orgasm experience just is not working out, be honest with your partner, says Hathaway. "Tell him that you are just too sensitive and that you need a rest," Hathaway says. "Suggest that the two of you just breathe together."